Special Handling
by J. B. Tilton
Summary: When Phoebe's doctor sends her to an HMO for some tests about her pregnancy, she discovers that bureaucracy demons can inhabit just about any area.
1. Default Chapter

CHARMED "Special Handling"  
by J. B. Tilton email:

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: "Charmed" and all related characters and events are the property of the WB television network, except for those characters specifically created for this story. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement of copyright is intended.

When Phoebe's doctor sends her to an HMO for some tests about her pregnancy, she discovers that bureaucracy demons can inhabit just about any area.

ONE

"Okay, let's just have a look," said the doctor as he prepared to take a sonogram of Phoebe's baby. "It will be just like the last time. Only I hope the machine doesn't blow up like the last one did. Again, I'm sorry about that. I just don't understand what could have happened."

"Oh, uh, that's okay," said Phoebe guiltily. "No one was hurt. I guess you just got a defective one."

Piper looked at her sister. They couldn't very well tell the doctor that Phoebe's unborn child had demonic abilities and had somehow caused that explosion. He was a mortal doctor and would probably consider them for a psych evaluation if they said anything like that.

"Okay," said the doctor, "everything seems to be fine so far. From everything I can see your baby seems perfectly healthy."

"What about normal?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't understand," said the doctor.

"Well," said Phoebe, glancing nervously .at Piper, "I mean, does it appear to be a normal fetus? Anything.... unusual about it?"

"Not from what I can see," said the doctor. "Why? Is there some reason you suspect it might be abnormal?"

"No, no," Phoebe said, "nothing specific. It's my first baby. I'm just concerned that it's normal. I could be overreacting."

"Not at all," said the doctor smiling. "Most first time mothers are very concerned about their babies. It's perfectly normal. In fact, I'd be a bit worried about you if you weren't."

Phoebe managed a weak smile at Piper. Neither had said anything but they both had been thinking the same thing. Phoebe's baby was only half human. Or rather, three-quarters human since the father was half demon. They weren't sure if it would appear to be a normal human or if it might have some demonic influence.

"We just don't want to take any chances, that's all," Piper said.

"I understand," said the doctor. "Would you like to see your baby? I'm afraid at this stage of your pregnancy you may not be able to see much but I can point it out to you."

"Sure," said Phoebe.

The doctor pointed out the fetus on the monitor. Phoebe couldn't tell much. The monitor showed mostly areas of gray and black. Something like radar screens Phoebe had seen in some old movies. But the doctor pointed out an almost insubstantial form on the screen.

"There he is," said the doctor. "As I said, you probably can't tell much. But that's your baby right there."

"You mean it's a boy?" asked Phoebe. "You called it 'he'."

"It's really too early to tell," said the doctor. "Simply a figure of speech. We should be able to tell more in a few weeks."

"Thank you, doctor," Phoebe said. "I appreciate everything you've done."

"It is my job," said the doctor, smiling at her. "Now, I don't want you to become worried. There's nothing to be alarmed about. But I'm sending you to the HMO for some tests. Nothing unusual. All perfectly routine. I send all my patients there so we can get a better idea of any possible problems later in the pregnancy."

"I see," said Phoebe. "So there's nothing to be concerned with? My baby is normal and healthy?"

"A textbook case," said the doctor. "As I said, it's just for some routine tests. Most of what they are testing for has almost no chance of occurring. I don't foresee any problems or complications with your pregnancy. The tests are just to give me a clearer picture of the baby's development."

"Okay," said Phoebe. "When should I have these tests done?"

"I'll schedule an appointment for you for next Tuesday," the doctor said. "It shouldn't take more than a couple of hours at most. Once I get the results back I'll discuss them with you. And relax. Your baby is fine. Just keep taking your vitamins and don't overexert yourself too much."

"Okay, thanks," said Phoebe.

"More tests?" questioned Piper as she drove Phoebe home. "I wonder if there's a problem he's not telling you about."

"I don't think so," said Phoebe. "I think he's just being careful. Piper, about next Tuesday."

"I'll be glad to go with you," said Piper.

"Thanks," Phoebe said. "I appreciate it. HMOs give me the willies."

"I know what you mean," Piper said. "Going to the doctor's office is one thing. Going to an HMO is like walking into a bureaucratic nightmare. I'll do what I can to help."

"Thanks," Phoebe said again. "I just hope Junior behaves himself while we're there."

"So do I," Piper said. 


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

"Hello," Phoebe said to the woman behind the desk, "I have an appointment for some tests. My doctor made the appointment last week."

"Sign in and we'll be with you as soon as possible," said the woman without looking up.

Phoebe signed the sign in sheet and then she and Piper had a seat in the waiting room. The room was nearly full. People of all ages and descriptions sat waiting for their appointments. Some were small children and they were obviously bored and restless. It was one of the reasons Phoebe hated going to the doctor.

"I hope this doesn't take long," Phoebe said. "I hate coming to a place like this. Just sitting around waiting. I feel like I'm wasting my time."

"You aren't wasting anything," Piper said. "Just remember, this is all for your baby. All things considered, it's best if we take every possible precaution with this pregnancy."

"Is this your first, dear?" asked an elderly lady sitting near them.

"Yes," said Phoebe uncomfortably. "I guess I'm just nervous about it."

"That's perfectly normal," said the woman. "I have seventeen children. But I can still remember the first one and how nervous I was. What was that, seventy or eighty years ago? After a while it gets hard to remember exactly. Anyway, I'm sure everything will be fine. The advances in medical sciences can almost perform feats of magic nowadays."

"Yes, I guess you're right," Phoebe said.

Obviously the woman had lost touch with reality at least some. She appeared to be about seventy. Hardly old enough to have a child the same age. Phoebe looked at Piper who just smiled. They sat quietly waiting for Phoebe's name to be called.

"Phoebe Halliwell?" questioned a nurse, stepping into the waiting room after a couple of hours.

"That's me," Phoebe said, standing up.

"Ah, Miss Halliwell," said the nurse. "There seems to be some mix-up. We don't seem to have an appointment for you."

"What?" Phoebe questioned. "My doctor said he was going to make the appointment last week. What am I going to do now?"

"Oh, don't worry," said the nurse. "This happens some times. But we've had a couple of cancellations and a few no-shows. The doctor said that since you're all ready here, we could squeeze you in."

"Good," said Phoebe. "I'd hate to have to come back here again."

"Now," said the nurse, handing Phoebe a stack of multi-colored papers that must have been an inch thick, "since we don't have an appointment, obviously your doctor hasn't sent over your records. We'll need you to fill these out so we can have some information on you."

"You've got to be kidding," Piper said, looking through the stack of papers. "This is going to take us all afternoon."

"It's necessary I assure you," said the nurse. "Unless you'd like to schedule another appointment. We can get you in three weeks from next Monday."

"Three weeks?" Phoebe questioned. "Piper, let's just get this over with. Please, this is hard enough as it is. I just want to be done with it."

"Okay," Piper said. "Let's get these filled out as quickly as we can so we can get you into the doctor."

"Oh, you don't understand," said the nurse. "This paperwork is so that we can send you to the admissions office. There, you can fill out the paperwork to have a doctor appointed to your case. Then you can fill out the paperwork the doctor will use for the tests and examination. After that, we'll see about assigning a doctor and filling out the paperwork to open a file on you."

"You can't be serious," said Phoebe. "Can't you just call my doctor and have him send my records over? He said I was only supposed to be here a couple of hours."

"Sorry, regulations," said the nurse, smiling. "Oh, pay particular attention to the blue forms. Those are especially important in this case. We don't get many witches here and the doctor will need to know as much about you as possible."

Piper and Phoebe just watched speechless as the nurse turned and walked away. 


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

"How did she know we were witches?" Phoebe whispered to Piper as they filled out the forms.

"I don't know," Piper said, "but I'm getting a funny feeling about this. She didn't seem concerned that we were witches. Almost like it wasn't important except for the blue forms. Kind of like she was more interested in the paperwork than in us being witches."

"Wait a minute," Phoebe said. "You aren't saying what I think you're saying. Are you?"

"Remember what Cole and Leo said about the cable guy?" Piper asked. "Only interested in their paperwork. Who else would know we were witches just by looking at us."

"Oh great," Phoebe said. "Bureaucracy demons. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. Maybe we should just get out of here."

"And come back again?" Piper questioned. "If we don't do this now your doctor is just going to reschedule your appointment. I don't like it any better than you do but if we have to do this I think we should just get it over with."

"You don't think my doctor is a bureaucracy demon, do you?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know," Piper said. "All the people who work here probably aren't. But it does kind of make sense. What better place for bureaucracy demons to work than a place like this? Let's just get the paperwork filled out and get this over with."

Piper and Phoebe spent the next two hours filling out the paperwork. It was another two hours after that before the nurse finally showed up and sent them to the admissions office. They spent another hour there filling out more paperwork. Then they spent thirty minutes filling out forms to determine what tests the doctor would perform. After another forty-five minute wait, they were sent to the assignment office where they filled out even more paperwork to get Phoebe's case assigned to a doctor.

"I'm really beginning to hate this place," Phoebe said. "I'm beginning to get writers cramp."

"It's almost over," Piper said. "Once they assign a doctor to you you'll have the tests and we can get out of here. Then we won't have to come back again."

It was the middle of the afternoon before Phoebe was finally shown into an examination room. She put on the obligatory gown (with the back open, of course) and sat waiting on the examination table for the doctor. After nearly forty minutes, an elderly man wearing a white doctors' coat came in looking at a chart.

"Phoebe Halliwell," said the doctor without looking up from the chart. "Well, you're lucky. We were able to get you in rather quickly. Some people are very discourteous about canceling appointments."

"Quickly?" questioned Phoebe, trying to control her temper. "We've been here nearly the entire day. I was only supposed to be here for a couple of hours. And I've filled out so many forms my hand is numb."

"Don't get yourself worked up," said the doctor, looking up at her. "It isn't good for your blood pressure."

The man appeared to be human except for his eyes. They were cat-like, showing that he was not actually human. And when he blinked, it wasn't up and down as most people did. His eyelids were vertical and when he blinked his eyes it produced the oddest affect.

"Oh no," Phoebe said, "no way. There's no way I letting some demonic doctor examine me."

"Well, you wouldn't want a human doctor, would you?" asked the doctor. "What if something.... unforeseen should occur during the examination? At least with me you won't have any embarrassing explanations."

"Phoebe just take it easy," said Piper. "I'll be here the whole time."

"Oh, I'm afraid that's not allowed," said the doctor. "You'll have to wait in the outer room, I'm afraid."

"That's not going to happen," Phoebe said. "She stays and that's final."

"Well," said the doctor, "I suppose it won't hurt. This one time. Now, there's only last minor matter to clear up before we get started. It's about payment for your visit. I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover this type of visit. So you'll have to make payment in full and up front before we can start."

"That's crazy," Piper said. "Phoebe's insurance from the paper covers just about any type of medical treatment. This is just supposed to be a routine visit and some standard tests."

"Yes," said the doctor, "standard for a magical child. I'm afraid mortal insurance doesn't cover such matters. And I see you didn't fill in anything for supernatural insurance. I assume that means you have no supplemental insurance coverage."

"No, I don't," said Phoebe. "Okay, look. How much is this going to be? I can write you a check. Or maybe we can make some kind of arrangements for a payment plan. Whatever it takes to get this over with."

"I'm afraid that's out of the questions," the doctor said. "Payment has to be in full and up front. And I can assure you that you are probably not prepared to make payment at this time. Humans can be so squeamish about such matters. Unfortunately, without it, I'm afraid there's simply nothing I can do. We'll have to send you to County General. I'm sure they will be able to fit you in within a couple of months. Nothing to worry about."

"A couple of months?" questioned Phoebe. "This is ridiculous. I didn't even want to come in for these tests. My doctor said it was necessary."

"Well," said the doctor, "according the forms you signed, I'm afraid you have no choice. I'll talk to the nurse and see about transferring your case to County. Wait right here."

"I'm going to find some way to vanquish that guy," Phoebe said, fuming as the doctor left the room. "I don't care what Cole and Leo said. Bureaucracy demon or not, I've just about had it with this place." 


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR

"This is ridiculous," Piper said. "After all this and they're just going to pawn you off on some other doctor. I wonder what we'll have to go through with him? More forms and long waits in the doctors' office? I'm with you. When we get home I'm going to start looking for a vanquishing potion for these guys."

"Now then," said the nurse coming into the room, "the doctor informs me you don't have insurance. That's a pity. I've been able to schedule an appointment for you for two months from next Friday at County General. The doctors there are.... competent. At least competent for someone without insurance. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Listen lady," Phoebe said, "after all I've been through, I'm not waiting another two months only to go through this all again. I'm already here. I'll write a check for the full amount of the visit. Just tell me how much it is."

"A check," laughed the nurse, "how quaint. You honestly believe we would take money for a visit. That's one I haven't heard in a while. I'm afraid that payment for a visit like this consists of...."

"No, don't tell us," Piper said, cutting the woman off. "We don't want to know what you charge. You sure there isn't some way to work this out so we don't have to go through it again?"

"Heavens, no, dear," said the nurse. "There is simply nothing that can be done, I'm afraid. The doctor is a very busy man and he does have other patients. Now, if you'd get dressed I'll give you the information about your visit to County."

"This is just great," Phoebe said as she began to put her clothes on. "All this time and for what? So they can send me to County General and I have to wait for another two months to take tests I didn't want to take in the first place."

Her voice trailed off. There really wasn't anything she could do about it. She was going to have a talk with her doctor, of course. Maybe there was something he could do. For now, all she could do was keep her temper in check.

"Well, at least we can send your records over, dear," said the nurse. "They came in a few minutes ago."

Suddenly a man wearing a very expensive three-piece suit came into the room. He was carrying a folder with him.

"Miss Halliwell, I'm the administrator of this facility," he said without preamble. "I'm so dreadfully sorry about the mix-up. It was totally unintentional I assure you. Things like this don't happen here, really. This is a first-rate facility."

"Doctor, what is it?" asked the nurse.

The doctor opened the file and showed it to her. The nurse's eyes became very wide as she read something in the file. She turned to Phoebe and Piper.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, Miss Halliwell," said the nurse. "If I had known I can assure you I would never ever have agreed to sending you to County. Oh, dear, I do hope you aren't terribly upset with me."

"Uh, no, not at all," Phoebe said, looking at Piper who looked as dumbfounded as she was. "I'm sure you were just doing what the doctor told you."

"Oh, yes, quite right," said the nurse. "Oh, thank you for understanding. Thank you so very much."

"Now," said the doctor, "If you'll come with me, we'll get this straightened out right away."

Piper and Phoebe gathered up Phoebe's clothes and followed the man out of the room. The nurse handed Phoebe a robe to wear as they left. They entered the elevator and took it to the top floor of the building. When the doors to the elevator opened, they stepped out into a palatial suite.

"I'm sure you'll be quite comfortable here," said the administrator. "There's a private nurse in attendance twenty-four hours a day. Our chief resident has cleared his schedule for the entire day and is preparing to give you the examination and all the necessary tests. I imagine he'll be up here within the next few minutes. Now, if there's anything you need, simply pick up the phone and tell the operator. Whatever you need will be provided immediately. And again, please accept our most sincere apologizes for the misunderstanding."

"Thanks," said Phoebe suspiciously. "You guys sure have changed your tune all of a sudden."

"Just a misunderstanding, as I said," said the administrator. "If we had known, we would never have treated you as we did. Please, accept my humblest apologies for any inconvenience you may have suffered."

"What about payment?" Piper asked. "How much is this going to cost us?"

"No charge," said the administrator, "no charge whatsoever. Please, just make yourselves comfortable and we'll have this over as quickly as possible."

Piper and Phoebe didn't know what to say. They just looked at each other as the administrator hurried back into the elevator. 


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE

"Well, that was certainly strange," said Phoebe. "I wonder why they suddenly changed?"

"I don't know," questioned Piper. "There must have been something in your file that changed there minds but I have no idea what it could be."

"I don't either," Phoebe said. "I've seen my file. There's nothing in it that might give this reaction. Unless it was the same thing Dr. Johnson was concerned about. He never really did tell us what it was."

"I don't think that's it," Piper said. "Everyone here is now treating you like some sort of visiting dignitary or something. I can't see how any medical problem would elicit a reaction like that. Are you sure there isn't anything in your file that could cause such a turn around?"

"No," Phoebe said. "Maybe Dr. Johnson put something in the file before he sent it over."

"Well, whatever it is," Piper said, "let's just be thankful it did. I wasn't looking forward to waiting two months before going to County General for these tests."

"Neither was I," said Phoebe.

Just as the administrator said, the doctor came up to the suite a few minutes later. He was very conciliatory and very accommodating. He completed the examination on Phoebe and performed the tests with a minimum of fuss. When it was over he said he'd have the results sent to Phoebe's doctor immediately. He also said he would be back in a little while to discuss the results with her personally. And, just as the administrator and nurse, he seemed to treat Phoebe like she was some kind of celebrity.

The resident returned a short time later. He assured Phoebe that all of the tests had come out perfectly normal and there was absolutely no cause for any concern. Her baby seemed to be doing very well and he anticipated nothing unusual during her pregnancy.

"Dr. Johnson seemed to think there was something to be concerned about," Phoebe said. "That's why he sent me for these tests. He said it was just routine but I got the feeling it was more than that."

"Oh, that," said the resident. "Well, sometimes a sonogram can produce a sort of aura around a magical baby. Especially one as strong as this one seems to be. A mortal doctor wouldn't know how to interpret that. But I can assure you that there is nothing to be worried about. It appears to be a perfectly normal pregnancy."

"Thanks," said Phoebe. "I appreciate everything you've done."

Just then the administrator came into the suite.

"Well, I hope the news was good," he said smiling nervously at Phoebe.

"Actually, yes," said Phoebe. "It appears there was nothing to be concerned with after all."

"Good, good," said the administrator. "Now, you're welcome to stay and rest here as long as you wish. Take whatever time you need to recoup and refresh yourself. The entire staff is ready, willing, and able to wait on you hand and foot for the foreseeable future. Or longer if you desire."

"No thanks," said Phoebe. "I just want to get home. By the way, why the sudden change in attitude? When I first came in here it seemed like no one could care less about who I was. Now you're all bending over backwards to make sure I'm comfortable."

"So humble," said the administrator, smiling at Phoebe. "That wasn't in your records. I will update it immediately. Well, I need to be getting back to work. Just call if you need anything, anything at all."

The administrator and resident left the room leaving Phoebe and Piper even more mystified over their behavior. 


	6. Chapter 6

SIX

"I'll just be glad to be out of here," said Piper as she and Phoebe neared the front doors to the HMO. "This is the weirdest place I've even been in."

Phoebe hardly heard her sister. She was looking at the people in the corridors and sitting outside of offices staring at her as she passed them. She heard bits of comments such as, "that's her", "she's the one", and other comments that seemed to indicate she was someone important. As they neared the doors, a small demonic child approached her. The child had a pad and a pen, which he held out for Phoebe.

"Excuse me, Miss Halliwell," said the small boy who appeared to be about ten or so. "Could I have your autograph?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Phoebe taking the pad and pen and signing her name.

"Boltoc, don't bother her," said a demoness moving quickly up to the boy. "I'm dreadfully sorry about that, ma'am. He's always been so impetuous. I do hope he hasn't been a bother. Please, he's only a small child. He meant no harm."

"No harm done," said Phoebe, smiling to the boy and handing the pad and pen back to him. "I really don't know why he wanted my autograph but it wasn't any bother, really."

"Oh, thank you, thank you," said the demoness, kissing Phoebe's hand. "You're as compassionate as your are wise and just. Thank you so very much for understanding."

The demoness hurriedly pulled the boy away from Phoebe and scurried down a hallway. She had seemed almost frightened of Phoebe. Nearly in a panic. Neither Phoebe nor Piper could figure out just what was going on.

"That was certainly weird," said Piper. "Come on. Let's get out of here before something else weird happens."

As they were walking through the front doors, two female demons passed them entering the building. As they passed, Phoebe heard one of them say, "she's the one". Phoebe spun around to face the demoness.

"The one what?" she demanded.

"I beg your pardon?" asked the demoness that had spoken about her.

"You said I was 'the one'", said Phoebe. "The one what?"

"Please, mistress, I meant no disrespect," pleaded the demoness. "I was merely pointing you out to my friend. So that she would know who you were."

"So just who the hell do you think I am?" demanded Phoebe.

"You were married to him," said the second demoness. "Everyone knows of it. He was the half demon who became the Source. And you were his wife. That makes you...."

"Queen of the Underworld," finished Phoebe. "Okay, Cole and I were divorced. And besides that, he's dead now. Which means he's no longer the Source."

"Oh, we know that, Mistress," said the first demoness. "But we still pay homage to our queen. The Source may be gone but you remain. We must honor you as our queen."

"So that's what all the fuss was about," said Piper as she and Phoebe got into Piper's car. "It seems that being Queen of the Underworld has its perks. No wonder the administrator changed his tune so quickly."

"Apparently," said Phoebe. "Let's just get home. I've put that whole Queen of the Underworld behind me once. I don't want to have to do it again."

"As you wish, milady," said Piper mockingly. "Would Her Majesty care to take the freeway or should we take the route through town so that her loyal subjects may admire her?"

"Just drive," said Phoebe. "The sooner we get this behind us the better I'll feel."

"Certainly, Mistress," said Piper, still mocking Phoebe. "And would Her Majesty wish me to kiss her ring?"

"Oh, I got something you can kiss, all right," said Phoebe, cracking a smile.

The two sisters just laughed as Piper pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the freeway.

The End

If you've enjoyed this story, you can find more "Charmed" stories at my website, You can also post your own "Charmed" stories if you like to write fan fiction. 


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